Today was tough.
I need to double up on my mindfulness practice, including exercises that calm me, as my sympathetic nervous system is in overdrive these days.
Today I am especially stressed, and I need to manage this.
Yes, I did say that.
I am stressed. 🤯
Only the stress is not all my own. I’m surrounded by people who are experiencing fear, anxiety, grief, loss, pain, and sadness, and this negative energy rubs off.
Science calls this emotional contagion. Like a virus is contagious, so are negative emotions. When you are next to someone who is angry, that energy can affect you.
Richard Boyatzis a professor of Organizational Behavior explains just how contagious emotions are. “Emotions are contagious, both positive and negative emotions. The contagion spreads at fast speeds, often in milliseconds, and is predominantly below conscious awareness. If you are not emotionally intelligent and mindful, you do not understand how your emotions are infecting others, nor can you consciously change your impact on others to be more effective” (Boyatzis & McKee, 2007).
Emotional contagion can drain your energy so that even if your outlook is positive, you might find yourself unable to move forward.
Energy drain can freeze you.
I coach leaders in 30 different countries, and I see patterns that are global. I see anxiety, fear, and fatigue. I hear stories of busyness and feeling overwhelmed. And we have just begun the year!
Each of my clients has different reasons. For some, the stress is personal; for others, it’s related to their professional life or to the countries they live in.
Let’s dive into a real-life story about energy drain.
Sandra works for one of the top financial companies in the world and supervises 450 employees.
The company is restructuring, and there are many management changes. Sandra doesn’t know what her role will become. She’s confident that she will not be let go. She can’t say the same for many of her colleagues and is keenly aware of the tension and stress around her.
We’ve had five coaching sessions.
At the start of the 6th coaching session, she updates me. “I am becoming more conscious of where I am spending time and energy.”
As you can see, Sandra has been working on her energy levels.
We begin with a mindfulness inquiry. This is something unique that I do in my mindfulness coaching sessions. I use this method because our mind processes our thinking at 900 words a minute, whereas when we talk, we talk at 150 words a minute.
I guide Sandra in a mindfulness inquiry meditation. Through mindfulness meditation, we tap into our higher wisdom and create new neural pathways. This is the science of neuroplasticity.
We start off by focusing on her body and her breath and opening up the space so that she can tap into her higher consciousness.
In this mindfulness inquiry, I guide Sandra to envision her near future and choose what’s important to her.
I challenge her to be proactive about what she wants in her work and life.
As Sandra envisions thousands of new scenarios in her mind, she creates new neural pathways in the brain.
Science has shown us time and again how this visualization technique is highly beneficial as our brain doesn’t know the difference between imagination and actual reality.
At the end of this mindfulness inquiry meditation, we end with practicing gratitude for what wisdom we have received.
Are you curious to hear about Sandra’s mindful inquiry experience?
You should be as it was really fascinating!
When Sandra described what she had envisioned, she was very surprised by something that was missing.
Every day two different senior managers would spend time with her, venting over their fears and anxiety about their future. There was even a third manager in a different time zone who would contact her too. She was pleasantly surprised when she told me that these three managers were not in her vision.
I repeat, when she created her chosen future vision of only a few weeks ahead, she did not see these three different people.
Sandra says she has an amiable social style, and people feel comfortable sharing with her. The problem was that this had become a regular occurrence and not a one-off.
It’s endearing that these senior managers were so trusting of Sandra, but she realized that this was not the best use of her time; it was an energy drain.
Now I am turning the light on you.
We all have conversations that drain us of energy.
It’s not necessarily the people or the relationships themselves. It could be that we’re not putting up a boundary to preserve our energy.
If we’re able to monitor ourselves and be conscious of how we’re thinking and feeling, together with paying attention to what is going on around us, we’ll be empowered to identify emotions that might be “rubbing off on us.”
This recuperative approach restores or renews our energy and prevents energy drain.
Are you up for a challenge?
I want to challenge you to notice your energy this week and identify what uplifts you and what drains your energy.
When you do this, you can consciously take action to create positive change.
I would love to hear what you discover. Hit reply or …
Join me in this 3-minute mindful pause to bring energy balance into your life every day, no matter where you are.
May you be healthy, happy, prosperous, and live fully with serenity, joy, and love!
Sam
Samantha Amit – Leadership Coach and Mindfulness Practitioner
Samantha helps managers be more present, more confident and to focus on what and who is important, to excel and thrive at work and life.
Inspiring managers to grow and together make a global impact.
Transforming people and companies for the future.
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