Note: it is recommended to read about
Mindfulness as this is integrally related to this article.
All emotions serve a purpose. What can you learn from
them? What is the
message? When a
situation occurs that results in a negative emotion you can
jump up and down and the emotion may disappear but you have
Many of my clients that come to me for weight loss suffer from
emotional hunger and not physical hunger. This is why so many
(and including myself) went on diet after diet to later put on
the weight again.
This is because the thoughts that were underlying the emotions
were not questioned. If you are feeling sad, you
could go for a run and this will change your mood, however you
have not looked at what thoughts were behind that emotion of
sadness and so it will reoccur and you won't be free of it
until you gain emotional mastery. Another example is a mother
or father shouting and being angry at their
want to react differently so seek emotional
What is Emotional
Emotional mastery is freedom, it's about
controlling your emotions rather than them
controlling you. Jon
Kabat-Zinn talks about anger and how it can
be used consciously and on purpose,
mindfully. When you
choose to use anger, then this energy can be
useful. Most of
my life my anger was and sometimes still is not
mindful. I would loose
control in the moment. In this
instant, my anger controls
Emotional mastery is gained though
consciousness or being awake. This is
the same as saying being mindful of your
present thoughts. When we
are mindful of them then we can catch a
thought in the moment and be in control,
rather than the thought control
us. We can
question the thought and then the anger
does not arise as there is no place for
Adyashanti talks in
spontaneous awakening, about how a thought arises and how that
thought may try to gain momentum and then it looses its
momentum and falls away. I thought
this sounded wonderful at the time. Yes I want
that. How can I do
that? I have
learnt to gain emotional mastery and it's
When you experience it you want more. It's
liberating and you go Wow Wow weeeee Wa!
I can report a calmness about me that was not their
Fear is also a negative emotion
based on something that may happen in the
It occurs in most people
unconsciously and automatically.
Some of us have these horror
movies that play on in your mind.
They tend to vary in creativity
from scary to very scary.
My mother used to worry about us
when we went out and were back late.
She used to lie awake in bed and
would not fall asleep until my brother or I had arrived
If a movie pops into my
head, my mindfulness practice helps me to catch the
fearful thoughts in the moment and say something like -
well that’s imagination for you.
And you can even have a
good laugh at this.
Another example is of something
that happened in the past.
For example if you have a fight
or argument with your boss, your spouse or a friend and carry
this around with you all week.
Then you may be frustrated or
angry most of the time as the argument continues to play over
and over in your mind.
This is something so far away
from me now, but I experienced it and this was my
I used to say I was
This gave me an excuse for being
hurt most of the time.
The hurt turned into frustration
and then anger.
Emotional mastery is worth the
It requires mindfulness
As with life coaching we take one
step at a time.
Part of gaining emotional mastery is to learn how the mind
Please click her to continue reading about Emotional
A Cognitive Beginning
Byron Katie's online coaching program (
for an extra 2 weeks subscription as a bonus).